


Tomorrow

by freakofnature



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, here kat be sad, idk?, it didnt come out right but oh well, not actual tears tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4242885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakofnature/pseuds/freakofnature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey…hey can we try that again?” Shouyou smiled hopefully at him and Kuroo didn’t have the heart to say no.</p><p>So he let his boyfriend climb back into his lap, his legs on either side of Kuroo’s hips, “It’s going to be okay,” he can hear Shouyou say to him, but it sounds far away, muffled as he watches Shouyou raise his hand and reach out for him again.</p><p>It takes more effort that Kuroo thought it would take after two years, but by the time the soft skin of Shouyou’s palm meets his cheek, Kuroo is sweating, chest heaving in an effort to stay still.</p><p>His body wants to run away. His mind is replaying every instance he was hit.</p><p>Shouyou is patient, keeping his hand innocently on Kuroo’s face until Kuroo is able to calm down his breathing and open eyes he never remembered closing.</p><p>“See?” Shouyou is grinning, bright and happy and Kuroo isn’t entirely sure why. “You did it! I’m so proud of you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karasunotsubasa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/gifts).



> its shitty and im sorry and if u cry b/c of this i will laugh at u for like ten years okay kat?

When he was at the tender age of 10, Kuroo found out he had a problem. It wasn’t _his_ problem per say, but it was a problem that over time grew to be a part of him, and that. That was the problem. See it started off as harmless…no, it was never really harmless. It was always harmful, always painful.

Maybe this should start from the beginning. Maybe it would make sense then. But maybe it wouldn’t, Kuroo was never quite sure with these things.

He grew up as an only child. Alone. His mother was a hard worker, his father was less of one. Stay at home father, Kuroo can say now. He loved his parents, and for a while the feeling was mutual. But as Kuroo got older and school got harder and he couldn’t always do _amazing_ like his parents used to boast to their friends at work and family functions…well. That love slowly dissipated. Dinner became less of a time to talk about his achivements at school and more time to tell him what he was doing wrong.

Coming home from school meant rushing to his room to do his homework _just in case_ his mother was home to yell at him about being lazy. And as time went on, and Kuroo entered his last year of middle school, the unthinkable happened.

They said it was his mom’s fault, she was speeding on the wet road and hydroplaned, that if she hadn’t been going so quickly, she would still be here.

Kuroo remembers all the family around him crying at her funeral, his father gripping his shoulder so tight, Kuroo wanted to scream out in pain. But he didn’t cry, he didn’t even feel sad.

Was there something wrong with him?

As the months passed, Kuroo noticed a change in his father. More drinking, less food in the house, slurred speech. He didn’t pay it any mind, his aunt had told him _everyone has their way of coping_. Maybe this was his father’s way. More months passed, his father seemingly drank more and more. Kuroo noticed they were late on their bills, he remembers urging his father to pay the water and electricity before it got turned off.

He remembers being slapped.

Kuroo remembers the slow blossoming pain, the shock that spoke volumes across his father’s face. The bumbling apologies.

Kuroo remembers believing them.

He was so naïve at 10.

It was cute, really.

_ _ _

“Tetsurou,” his name, sounding so soft from his lover’s lips. A voice so angelic, his name sounding more like a prayer and less like the curse his father used to spit at him, “Tetsu, it’s time to wake up now, okay?”

Kuroo opened his eyes to find his lover—his one and only—perched on his chest, a sleepy smile gracing his features. Kuroo blinks once at him, and then again, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Shou?” in comparison his voice sounded like gravel, like the tar that one had to scrap off their car. Like his _father_.

Shouyou just smiles at him again, arms reaching forwards as fingers smoothed across his cheeks, his nose, his lips. Kuroo lets his boyfriend map out his face before those fingers curled into his unruly hair and tugged on it, “Tetsu,” Shouyou whined, a pout on his lips, “It’s time to get _up_ , I want food. And I want you to cook it.”

Kuroo let his eyes close for a moment, snorting at the childish demands his boyfriend requested.

He was 22, and those days still haunted him. Granted, he got out only for college, but he should be stronger than his past.

It continued to haunt him.

A sigh parted his lips as Kuroo reopened his eyes, seeing the childish pout on Shouyou’s lips once more.

“Good morning.” He said, shaking one of his hands free from under the sheets to cup Shouyou’s cheek, “How’d you sleep.”

His lover stared at him, those intense amber eyes narrowing for a fraction of a second before they softened again, “Better than you,” he spoke jokingly, but Kuroo watched as Shouyou turned his head ever so slightly and kissed the edge of his palm, “But it’s _up_ time, get _up_ , I’m _hungry_.”

Rolling over, Kuroo dislodged the small boy—who let out a high squeak that would later be denied ever _happened_ —before sitting up and getting off the bed.

“Why are you still on the bed?” Kuroo asked, a smirk pulling at his lips, “Do you not want food?”

The only response he got was a muffled groan.

_ _ _

“What is _this_?” the rage, so pure in his father’s voice. It scares him. He can smell the anger, he can smell the alcohol.

He’s scared.

“Tetsurou _answer me_!” spit gets on his cheek, and Kuroo is tempted to wipe it away, but thinks better of it. The less movement the better. Sometimes. Maybe. It just depended on his father’s mood.

“It’s my—” he starts to say, but the rest is lost as a hand appears out of nowhere and backhands him.

His cheek stings. He wants to cry.

“Why are they so _fucking_ awful? Are you trying to make your late mother _more_ disappointed in you?” Kuroo doesn’t know what to say, what to _do_.

He stays silent.

It ends with another slap and banishment to his room, with no food for the night. Kuroo says nothing about how he had snuck food into his backpack that day at school.

_ _ _

He was watching T.V when Shouyou crawled into his lap and blocked his view. Kuroo sighed and tried to see around the boy, but each time he moved, Shouyou moved with him, making sure he couldn’t see the television.

“What’s up Shou?” he sighed out, meeting his boyfriend’s eyes. Shouyou said nothing for a moment, just looked at him, eyes searching his face for _something_ —Kuroo wasn’t sure what.

He saw Shouyou’s fingers twitch on his thighs.

That was okay.

He noticed them reach for his cheek.

 _That was not okay_.

With a muffled growl, Kuroo shoved Shouyou off his lap and pressed himself against the back of the couch, eyes darting between Shouyou’s hands, as if he was going to spring into action and hit him.

He was used to that behavior.

“Tetsurou…” Shouyou’s voice was calm, caring, _loving_ , and Kuroo looked to see those eyes filled with unshed tears, “Tetsu… _Kuroo_ …”

He didn’t want to deal with this.

Shouyou sat up, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, “Sorry, I should have told you,” was all his boyfriend ended up saying, a smile on his face as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, “You’re different in the morning.”

Kuroo didn’t want to keep hurting him, “You’re cuter in the morning.”

He kept doing so.

Light laughter filled the air for a bit, “I’m cute all the time, you just _see_ my adorableness in the morning. The image is shattered when you get out of bed.”

Kuroo snorted and looked away, raking a hand through his hair, “Most likely, yeah.”

Silence settled around them.

Why couldn’t he break _this_? _Why_?

“Hey…hey can we try that again?” Shouyou smiled hopefully at him and Kuroo didn’t have the heart to say _no_.

So he let his boyfriend climb back into his lap, his legs on either side of Kuroo’s hips, “It’s going to be okay,” he can hear Shouyou say to him, but it sounds far away, muffled as he watches Shouyou raise his hand and reach out for him again.

It takes more effort that Kuroo thought it would take after two _years_ , but by the time the soft skin of Shouyou’s palm meets his cheek, Kuroo is sweating, chest heaving in an effort to stay still.

His body wants to run away. His mind is replaying every instance he was hit.

Shouyou is patient, keeping his hand innocently on Kuroo’s face until Kuroo is able to calm down his breathing and open eyes he never remembered closing.

“See?” Shouyou is grinning, bright and happy and Kuroo isn’t entirely sure _why_. “You did it! I’m so proud of you.”

Kuroo doesn’t know why those words make him still want to make him cry, but they do. _Why are you so proud of me. I’m broken_. He wants to scream.

“Thanks,” he says instead.


End file.
